Essence of life...: March 2006

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Shrouded in a Silver Angelic Aura...

It’s amazing how I managed to delve into the spirit realm. For the past so many years I had this feeling that deep down inside the darkness of my mind there is a whole new world and I kept feeling myself related to this unknown world. I was getting intimation, clues, vague and unfamiliar directions but was unable to grab the crux of all this. I kept waiting and waiting for the time to come when I would be able to wipe away the dust of my dreams and perceive clearly all that’s beyond my understanding. In this journey I kept looking for people who can understand my state of mind and help me get out of this mental obscurity but now I believe everything happens at the right time for the right cause. Anyways, fortunately happened to find a spiritual teacher who taught me how to look inside myself and he made me plunge in to the realm of unconscious. I am desperately looking forward to get hold of all these arbitrary thoughts and I have this feeling that I am already able to maneuver some of them and I would Inshallah be able to manipulate others in time to come. It has brought such a positive change in me that I am amazed. I am more focused now I know where I stand and what I want to achieve… It’s strange but it’s like something has changed… I feel a certain level of maturity in myself (good news for my mum ... she wont believe it so easily)...it is like someone is giving me directions… telling me in which direction I have to move from this point in my life and its an AMAZING Feeling to realize that this someone is not anyone else…but MY Very Own Self…a part of me that was sleeping till now…I have a worth and I exist… and besides that there is a reason to my existence.. Which was vague by now… if u had asked me few months back what I want from life I would have looked at you for a moment given u a loud laugh and ignored the question…I cant do it anymore and its good… as you get to know your own self and the purpose of your existence u are on your way towards getting to know the Almighty upthere…and trust me this voyage is marvelous!!

Monday, March 27, 2006

...As i walk down the street...

wandering the busy street
lookin at these plastic faces
in all those places
stuck in a smile
pretending so fragile
just playing a part
noticeably wearing a mask
that noone can comprehend
putting on a plastic smile
faking out reflection of virtue,
Innocence and that of indifference
Unfathomably crying for attention
Acting a little part of their life
Deceiving all around them…
Looking at these plastic faces
Repel me to where I come from
Asking myself…
What plastic face shall I put on?

Thursday, March 09, 2006

..Impressions....

They say “First Impression is the Last Impression”. I think its part of our inherent defense mechanism otherwise there is no way you can judge a person after just meeting them once. Okay on second thoughts, some people are blessed with this extraordinary psychic gift giving ‘em enough insight to pass a judgment but most of us can not…and even if u r one of these very few blessed people ...Again doesn’t
give you any right to give your concluding statements…now harsh fact is WE ALL do it, sometimes without even thinking twice abt the poor person whose personality we are demolishing…but we know nothing abt the person we are meeting for the first time… abt the life they are spending… abt their values …still how lame it is that we say first impression is the last… it cant be..who knows someone’s ragged appearance is a result of them spending a whole nyte in hospital looking after their loved one… or a person not responding nicely n not smiling back at you is heartbroken ..may be having a bad day..may be hez shy…and not having that“BIG ATTITUDE Problem”..and a person who has this tooti phuti angrezi haven’t been lucky enuff to go to English school..he can be better than million others who are fluent…the list can go on…I am not trying to say that everytime you are wrong..but point being ..at personal level judging goes against kindness ……I think may be pulling someone else down makes us feel better about ourselves, or makes us look Higher in front of other ppl…ppl who sometimes don’t even matter to us…we try to tell them what he did was so wrong..if I were at his place I wud neva be like this…. Wotever u call it…its wrong, cruel, unfair n damaging…people have enuff troubles of their own widout us making their lives a misery wid our brutal judgments…I think we should instead give people benefit of doubt..So on a personal level… on my mission to become a better person each day…that’s my new resolution….to stop judging people…and giving them benefit of doubt…wot do U say abt it??

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

flashback...

I see myself walking
on the damp beaches of eternity
The sea crashing at the shore…
And my thoughts gusting’…to da truth of life…
They have been wondering
Who am i
What they see in me..
They try so much to touch
wotz behind the shadows veiling me
some think I play innocent
some think I am wacky
some even think I m mysterious
I hav been termed crazy, indifferent and simply queer
I have been loved and hated for the similar reasons too..
and i wonder... is it ME or its with them..
am I at the wrong place…or they are in the shadows..
and when I try to show them
they say they cant see

I SAY..
It’s in the grace of my style…
The shine ov my eyes
When they see me passing
It ought to make them proud…

I SAY…
souls like mine aint designed to merge wid their background....
It’s in the joy of my voice...
The need of my care,
The warmth of my smile
And the strength of my conviction
Coz I am a Phenomenal girl
And THEY are gonna talk about me coz they envy me
the life i live...
I affected their lives...they didnt affect mine..
…they cant incarcerate my intensity..
let them..

Monday, March 06, 2006

word of thought...

"The strongest oak of the forest is not the one that is protected from the storm and hidden from the sun. It's the one that stands in the open where it is compelled to struggle for its existence against the winds and rains and the scorching sun."
- Napoleon Hill

Essence of life...